Let’s face it, it’s never easy to say goodbye. They teach you a lot in college; how to cram for a test, socialize, even how to prepare for your next job. What they don’t warn you is that the wonderful people that have filled your 4-year-bubble will probably have different area codes than you once you grab that diploma. And what is more, they’ll probably have more than one area code racked up in a short amount of time.
My sister and I joke that if you’re friends with me you are cursed. You get to know me you might as well book your one-way plane ticket because you are not staying in New York City. Though I’m convinced that the MerShaps curse is real, I think what it really comes down to is this; in this day and age people are more mobile. We are open to more job opportunities which means living in more cities and rooting for more sports teams (well only if you are a fair-weathered fan so don't worry dad!).
A year out of school my best friend moved back to Chicago (where we went to school together) from New York City where we had lived together for over a year. Though I was extremely excited for her and the wonderful opportunity that she had been offered, there was a little selfish part of me that was extremely upset. One of my favorite people was leaving and that meant a lot of uncertainty. Who would come out with me on weekends and those weeknights when I needed some moral support? Whose apartment would I show up at (semi-invited) to watch weekly shows and discuss who we ran into on the street? I went begrudgingly to her work going away party and when she stepped up to give her toast I bravely held back tears (okay, they weren’t exactly held back and definitely not bravely). As messy wet trails stole down my face I felt a little anger pool up. Why would this person leave me?
This week another one of my close friends received a fantastic offer (Chicago you’re killing me) and those same self-centered (though not malicious) thoughts arose in my head. Who would be my support? Together, we had been through so much for the past 3 years, it just didn't seem right that something would arise so quickly and a decision would have to be made equally in haste.
As I sit and type, it becomes clear that the answer in fact to all of those questions is me. We must all be in charge of creating our own happiness because nothing in life is given. People move, relationships end, and unfortunately individuals pass. I am what I was given.
Though I am a little uncertain at the moment what my future will be, I know that I will work hard to keep myself smiling. I will be kind to myself during this difficult period of change and know that even though I didn’t learn this in school, people moving means more places to visit.
-na MER ste-